Sunday, February 24, 2008

He Drank The Whole Dang Thing!

$20...what would I do?

I would...well not much.... I can make $20 by making a 5 second phone call.


He drank the whole thing....for $20

He drank the whole syrup carafe at Village Inn
In one fell swoop he drank it.

That's like a 1000+ calorie moment


He then turned pale...but he was OK

I almost got sick myself watching him....

Funny I kept moving further away from him thinking "I don't want to be hit when it comes back around"

Funnier...after it was said and done...I actually felt closer to him and had a new strange respect....


$20....maybe it was worth it....!

Risk for gain....

Thanks for reminding me..

This time it was $20

Next time (if I re-learned my lesson well)...maybe it's for someone's soul....

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Hope Castaway

Drive a hundred miles...CHEck
Get to the meeting place an hour and a half early....CHECk
Hoping for the end on loneliness.........CHECK!

Cute old guy. Asking about my "daughter" (my wife). Talking about his spunk. "I drive that Dodge Ram out there"(it was tricked out by the way), "I have a Miata too". "I go to Hawaii and snorkle every year", I do "horse cutting" (I still don't get what that really is). And on and on he went.

Then there was us. Four of us total. Me, my wife, one of our dearest surrogate daughters, and a sister of an old friend. We were already in deep relationship. We already could taste the love between us. We were completely fulfilled with each other.

Cute old guy. My new buddy. He had been around the Sun 73 times. And he was there for a blind date. He had met her on the internet (LDS singles). She was in her 50's, but he wasn't sure if she could keep up with his lifestyle. Nope not sure at all. But that wasn't the point...if memory serves correctly he "was so sick of being alone". A huge home in Wyoming, a million accomplishments, a big life...but not even close....not even close enough for fulfillment. It had to be another person.

So there he was. Alone...but waiting...just hoping...

We had to get going. I would have love to have met "her".

Then our surrogate daughter called...the "girl" never showed up.

She didn't come.

She left him alone.

She broke his little heart.

She may never know how much she missed out on.

A person who would love her desperately.

I have nothing big to say here this time.
No quip.
No opine.
No metaphor.

Just thinking to myself...I think I have adopted his hope.
I wish I could carry that burden for him.

Cute old guy!

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Floating Down

There we were at a Starbucks. Yep that glorious place where you pay big bucks for brown water and a chance at shifting your life. There we were having a bold conversation about living, and mostly about loving. Why would you ever describe it as BOLD? Why not heart felt, why not deep...why bold. Because boldness is where the heart changes...its where rivers that have been flowing since the persons first breath are turned.... the behemoth stands in the middle of the river and the course of a life is changed.
Risk. Nothing more than the willingness to lose the other person as a friend, and possibly lose any hope of ever being with them again. Not so scary if you remember that life is brief (I call is sooooo hard and scary).Life is brief though, no it really is. Ask my friends whom I have lost. Ask Craig, Ask Burke, Ask Dave. It's a speckle of dust floating down from a ceiling...nope's more like that brief instant it catches your eye as light catches's that brief. God I miss knowing that I could see those guys anytime. The ones I lost...but thank you God that I know the question really matters because I lost them.

So the question is asked

The BIG one...The BOLD one..the ONE

"are you lovable"? ... really stop here....

are you?

or another question...are you loving them?

Please stop reading...please walk away...please please please stop and consider it...I went too fast in telling you..... so stop.

Don't pass it is lame on the other very lame

The fake side of life...the distraction to the question, the question we capitulate too is so limp. The other side is found in life being only about what you want and can't have...or what you want and how to get it.

Stop......freeze.....don't move for a second...please ...go back to the center question and think about it.

Can you see it....That's it in a nutshell...all of real life summed up in a statement.
Every song,
every quip,
every thought,
every directional turn that you take,
every tear,
every hope,
every moment wrapped up in the question of loved and loving.

So me...oh the tuff guy, me with my so called sitting there with a real human soul staring back.
Me with my own questions with my lack of understanding of my own thoughts...Me recognizing that I set it knowing that the BIG question is loose and running wild....

There we were at Starbucks..the brown water nearing an end......and it happened...the question asked in a way that matched the moment. In a way that matched the person...and then

Then the hands already shaky...moved
Then the eyes, so tuff...centered
Then the smile...dissipated
Then the tears...welled us both

They knew their answer...and they telegraphed it to me.....and with all of my desperately wanting them to know they were wrong...but I can't help this's bigger than me. Should I have avoided it?

I can't fix it...

should I have left it un-asked...

dang it..I can't

I get in my car to head back to life, hating and second thinking the question. Why did I go there..why....why...why...why...why.

Then I blink again.... It has to be asked.

Why ..c'mon don't you see it?

It's the dust speckle...

isn't it weird....once you see it ---you --HAVE-- to watch it to the end. You ---just---care.