The stare

Preaching, singing the words were really good the music was acceptable and the moment was divulging itself as fully apropos. Some of the words threw my course in life dramatically, but the stare, yes the small squint of the eyes, that is what menaces my mind. Here’s the set-up. I went to hear some friends speak...dang they were good. Poignant and courageous would be an understatement. Then others stood to speak...sing...perform..that was predictable...a subway meatball sandwich comes to mind. The couple sat in front of me, the ones who were speaking. There kids transferring from position to position...our pew..their pew..our pew...their pew...stickers on the face...bioanicle in hand...get out of my way and give me your toys on their minds. But then...ha...the couple didn’t even see it, how could they? They were busy doing what adults do in these situations. Grabbing the kids, listening politely, thinking about the days business...but then. The dad gently caressed his brides hair. I saw it, and it endeared me, the middle child saw it too and he froze. He whom takes all things in accordance to his own worldview froze. He froze. He froze and I saw him do it. Then his eyes focused on the scene, and they slightly squinted. I live for this type of event. His entire life, the life of scattered needs and fleeting desires....focused like a pin point on his mom and dad...loving each other. Then I saw it...ever so slight but it was there...a slight upturning at the corners of his mouth. A whisper of a smile. He sat there for only a few seconds, and then went to join them and be close to them too.
This is what I took away...eyes are watching you, and Love is contagious....even when no one knows it....no too damn trite..

I took away that it matters...it all matters! More than you will ever know...to the couple ...to the boy..to me....

Wait...

That’s it...

The couple loved each other...The child was touched by that...I was touched by him...what did I do in that moment...????? Who saw me?????How did they react....
and is the ripple still pulsating out there somewhere...

thump...
thump...
thump...

Rock On.

What a holiday

This was a great holiday season for my wife and I. It was funny, with everything being so hectic, the crowds, the performances, the visits from guests, there was still a deep sense of joy and peace that was accompanying the lot. The highlight had to be the most unexpected thing. Sitting down with two friends and enjoying a cup of warm coffee and just talking. Wow, I personally received gifts that cost hundreds of dollars, I got new stuff that will fill the empty spaces (what’s left) in my home...but the time spent with them..that can have no value placed on it (I can’t say it was priceless because I think that may be trademarked...ooops just did).

Now was it because our conversation was so great....nope. Was it because we all became so much more enlightened...nope. Was it because we were finally catching up...nope..nope...nope. It was because there were four people sitting down together and being wholly authentic (something I haven’t done in a group setting in quite a while). The reason it was so impacting was that (in this day and age) there is such a draw to hide anything authentic about ourselves so that others will accept us and everything will be OK.
I HATE OK!

I am learning over and over that being in the dark does not make things OK, it makes things completely wrong and we lose the closest sense of connection there can possibly be (and this week proved that again to me). During our conversation we had (nice) conflict...we had laughter...we had “big reveals” ...and we made it through it all closer as friends and not further apart. I think each of us gave a little to the conversation and we each took more and more steps together as we gained trust.... man, I loved it and I am so excited to see where it takes our friendships.

I end this entry with one thing, the reason why I think it was so big (this conversation). I think this is how we were really designed to be.

Rock On!

Journal Launch and Life Changer B-day 38

Today I did it, I broke the sebatical. No more lack of reading, it is time to add some polish to my armory and make sure that it is no longer being made weaker from the passage of time and the lack of outside influences.


I am starting where I left off, with a book I love. Why, because it changed my life last time and spurred me on to true meditation on the God's words (which is why I started the sebatical in the first place)...why this time, well...because I now want it not for my own puffiness, but to enable me to love better.. Thanks JI... thanks for the reminder of why I want this, thanks Gretch for spurring me to do it on my birthday, and thanks to all of you.

Hopecasting.com is now launched and active and in some way you are a part of it.