"In" love

Have you ever thought about the question what it means to be "in" love?

I was sitting here thinking about the question just a few minutes ago and came up with a thought.

First off, I love many people, but I am not in love with many of them.

Here's what I think it means...

When your in love you're contained by it....no matter where you look (even in the darkest corner you can find) you're still there, you're still contained, you're still in love.

In love means there is no escape hatch (it was sealed years ago). There is no escape. No matter how bad it gets, no matter how close you look, no matter what your feeling in the moment, no matter what...it just doesn't matter...

You are "IN" love.

note: just because you're in love it does not mean there are times you shouldn't get out of the situation...like if your being abused or being beaten etc..., but even then...the feelings are hard to escape.


Just thinking

OK...back to my nap...

Facebook, Van Wilder and Air Supply the domino effect

Tonight I looked at my life closely. You see so often I forget one of the most important aspects of life...chill out you weenie...it's about others....forget the dumb rules out there...and have a bit of fun while you're at it.

I started on this path about a month ago on facebook...."oh my facebook how I love thee"...

I started posting some old photos...but in so doing I remembered so much about what I have learned.

Then I spent some time with a friend today on his 38th...

But the big one happened just moments ago....Van Wilder..it pulled it all together

Yep...one of the dumbest movies of all time...a movie about a party'er who really knows how to love.

It hit me during the movie while they were playing air supply....

Why air supply...because ...well....they wrote sweet nice songs...and I like nice sweet songs...a-lot

and it just hit me ...
the final domino....
I remembered...

but what you may ask....what had I began to forget again...?

It's fun...and not so serious

Life that is...it's fun...it contains love...it holds love...people want to play...you just have to knock .

I know there are tough moments...don't get me wrong...

but for me..

4 me..

I am going to keep the rules that help others...forget the rules that protect me....have fun with people...be fun to people...be excited about the possibilities..accept the outcomes...aim further ahead...and knock on those doors more often...your door...

pssst I know where you live...

I coming a knock'n...and I'm singing

Oh yes singing real loud

"That was the heartbreak...but now that I found you...even the nights are better now that we're here together"

My Love For Coffee

MMMMMMMMM...coffee

MMMMMMMMM...

Why do I love it so much...is it the taste..nope..
Is it the Aroma...well I like it a-lot
Is it the warmth....on a cold day that rules

But why such a love affair.

My earliest memories are about coffee

My grandparents were extremely well off. They had lived quite a life. At one point my granddad was ranked 7th in the nation for early NASCAR. At one point they built a stadium. They were quite a pair. But boy were they about proper behavior.

Meals were to be at an exact time (not a minute early or late). They were kinda uptight about some things...but always had a joke to share.

But coffee...where does that come into play?

Well...

They lived in Florida, and every morning without fail they would go on their back porch and talk. They would sit around that round glass table and just talk about life and the day to come.

I was little...

I was probably 3-4 years old...

I was up early....

They were always up early...with the sunrise.

I would go on the back porch with them.

They would sit me down and make me a cup of coffee. It had a lot of milk and sugar...

They would let me join in the talks..

I loved that...I loved them....

I love coffee...it's a reminder of them....

It reminds me to step back...slow down..discuss truly important things.... and connect deeply...

I still put a ton of sugar in it...I still prefer it with milk....I still remember the smells of their backyard...

I love coffee....

Cheers Grandma and Grandpa....cheers!

The Death Star

Ok,

Do you ever have one of those nights when you dream something and you're like..."that is so brilliant"...

But it's only in your dream.

Then you wake up and think REAL hard trying to remember how smart you were...asleep...at 2:00am....

and when you finally remember ...it's like..."I am such a weenie!"

Yep, that was me last night....

So here it is...

"When talking with others you should never be the Death Star (Star Wars reference)....blowing them up with your ...super duper death laser"

"Instead you should be a Guest Star....letting them take the spotlight and you acting as a person that helps them look even cooler"

Oh...MY......I am still laughing at how stupid this is now that I'm awake....

I am so thankful for blogging...because that could have ended up in a lecture I was giving...

Phew

(((little smirk on my face as I log off with)))

You a Death Star or Guest Star?

Bonjour...

It's been a while...

Hello...

I miss you blog...

and I love you.

Hello....again....hello (Neil Diamond)

A Mantis..2 Kids...20 Seconds..a laugh with a friend...a lifetime of lessons

I never cease to be amazed at how much can be learned from just a few seconds of life. It happens all the time in my life. If I would just stop and think about things a little bit deeper...a little bit richer...then I think my life would be greatly enhanced.

So what happened...

Here's the story...

One of my life friends (she and I have been friends for far over half of my lifetime) were outside catching up while her child and another boy played nearby. Her littlest boy comes running up soooo excited. He holds in his hands a praying mantis. He hands it to his mother and like the trooper she is...she plays with it for a brief few seconds. She hands it back to him and.....

Well this is where it begins...the lessons that is...and where so many of my predispositions are contravened!

In succession the events went like this...

1. I say "you should go play with it"


2. He says "it's not a toy"


3. We laugh


4. The mantis decides to take a tour of his little body (starting at the shirt...then a bee line to his neck..and onto his back)


5. He freaks out and starts screaming


6. Mom valiantly swats the mantis to the ground


7. The other boy comes running from no-where and steps on the mantis


8. The original boy picks up the (now flattened) mantis


9. We are laughing so hard


10. The boy runs to play with his now squished bug

PHEW...

This took all of about 20 seconds to happen....

Now this was a few days ago and I am still trying to get into my head all of the things that I learned in that moment.

So for your perusing pleasure I now present..a glimpse inside my mind-scape

In the order of arrival.

1. I truly wanted his happiness when I said you should go play with it...but look at how far my mental schema was off. The boy recognized that his happiness was secondary to the life of the bug...so


2. Life is not a toy...man is he correct or what? How often do we look at life from the position of what is best for ourselves. How often have I sat there and wondered what pleasure a relationship was going to bring me today...instead of what pleasure could I bring to others? Life is not a toy...no it is a gift and needs to be cherished


3. Oh how I love those moments with my friend. These are the things that will reverberate in my mind forever. The instances of shared experiences that will engulf my final moments on Earth. I have a few deep friendships which I have no idea how I (with my many faults) have managed to remain a participant in all of these years. But these moments of laughter...holy crap...thats great stuff. We knew we would have material for the next few years to add to the "reminiscence"


4. Life is a variable. Who knew mantis was wanting to explore. Sometimes right when you think you know what coming next..someone checks out of the situation and goes for a walk about. Mantis knew she was just vacationing but...


5. The boy didn't. The point here is this variability freaks us out. We can't handle it. Now our "maturity" teaches us to stuff it deep down in our emotional soul so that others just get the "news". But I have seen it over and over (especially with affairs) how this variability of relationship causes us to "freak out". This little mantis's reaction has a plethora of anthropomorphic implications that ...well my mind would hurt if I told you all of the ones that are going through it right now...think about it without me tainting your mind...(it's way more fun that way).


6. I loved this part...a valiant soldier ready to protect those in need. I love that about her..I love that about you..I love it when I get the chance to do it for others..Just cool.


7. Now here's the comic part...another valiant soldier...but way on the outside of the "conversation". The issue was already taken care of ...the mantis was ok..the boy was ok...I was ok...the mom was ok..the "conversation" was over and it was fine. But the busy body with great intentions...just wasn't part of the dialogue. He jumped in when all was OK and stirred it back up by squishing the poor mantis. I have done this. Things were fine...the issue was taken care of...and then I come along with my "wee bit-o-undertanding" and make a mess of it. This happens with friends and parents who we divulge problems to...only because we are too weak to go to the one who has offended us. Once we get to that person and make things OK..we forget..our valiant friends and family have had no closure..they are still ticked...and well...might just squish a heart.


8. Awwww...


9. Awwwwwwww...part 2...


10. Sometimes it's just hard to give up the love and say goodbye. I've learned this one way too many times in my young life.



11. 20 seconds...life shifted....hope given...lessons learned....lessons remembered....20 seconds...and one squished mantis later...poor little mantis...cute little guy.

And the sky's were silent

I remember what my Mom said about when I was born in 1969...that I had chicken hair that had to be cut before I left the hospital
I remember 1976 at 6 years old going into the giant freezer at my dad's work and getting an ice cream
I remember that same year getting one of those cool new quarters
I remember that same year sitting for hours in our van as we waited in lines to get gas
I remember Jimmy Carter
I remember 1979 when Ronald Reagan was elected..I was scared to death...he was going to destroy our country
I remember 1980 when Ronald Reagan took the oath of office and as I ate my Wendy's cinnamon bun...they released the American Hostages
I remember being amazed and for the first time taking a look at a strong America
I remember 1983 when I went to high school ...I was 13
I remember 1984 performing around the country..singer...dancer..clogger...Pentagon...Worlds Fair...Disneyland
I remember 1985 when I moved to Virginia and grew almost 6 inches in height
I remember 1986 when Amy sat me down and told me I needed to change my "style" a "surfer boy" was born
I remember 1987 when I graduated from high school and was headed to college with a $400 scholarship in Opera
I remember 1987 when when they raised my scholarship to (4) yr full tuition
I remember 1988 when I became a Christian
I remember 1988 when I resigned from my scholarship..not very interested in being hit on by my professor
I remember 1989 when I decided to go into exercise science
I remember 1989 when the Berlin wall fell
I remember 1989 when every morning I awoke to a new world map..freedom was on the rise
I remember 1989 when for the first time as an adult...I didn't feel like I had to worry about a nuclear holocaust
I remember 1990 when a professor asked me to really think it through for the first time
I remember 1991 when I ran for student body vice president...my famous quote "this machine is rusting from the inside"..I lost
I remember 1992 when the other students asked me to take that professor in front of the board to get her fired..and I refused
I remember standing up for her
I remember 1992 when I was offered a career as a wellness specialist for Northwest Pipeline before I graduated from college
I remember 1993 when I graduated from college..the first of my siblings
I remember 1994 when I was appointed by the Governor of Utah to be the chairman of the Governors Council of Health
I remember 1995 when I appeared on TV, at elementary schools across Utah, and other venues
I remember 1996 when I got married
I remember 1996 when we sped home fast ending our honeymoon to film a children's video series
I remember 1997 when I began my security career
I remember 1999 when I thought the world was coming to an end
I remember 2000 midnight when I realized --for sure-- it wasn't
I remember 2001 waking up on any given day and turning on the TV
They were playing a repeat of something
There was smoke
I woke Gretchen
There were two buildings
They were on fire
Planes hit them
I called into work
I told them we were not coming in
The TV switched to the Pentagon
It was smoking too
The first tower fell
The second tower fell
A plane went down in Pennsylvania
I could not turn off the TV
We sat for hours..we watched all day...we barely spoke....we barely moved...we called our loved ones...we watched...stunned
I was angry
I was confused
I was waiting for the next piece of bad news
I remember 2001 when on Sept 11, they attacked us...US
I remember 2001 Sept 11, when I skipped work for the first time in my life because it was dangerous to go out
I remember 2001 Sept 11,when I cried..for our Country...for my American family...for Freedom

The next day came
The Sun rose

I remember 2001 Sept 12, for one main reason
It was the first time in my life...the sky's were silent
Not a plane to be seen
No contrails
No engine sounds
I looked up that day and saw nothing but clouds and sky
I had never seen anything like it
I had seen a-lot...I had done a-lot...I had been a-lot
But never anything like this
The sky's were silent for the first time in my life..I had no reference point
I chose my path that day
I chose my direction that day
I made up my mind
Politics were real...I would pay attention
Freedom was real....I would pay attention
My fellow man was real...I would pay attention
I was not an island...America was not safe...
I would care more...love more...fight more...and stand up straight...tall...and true for the concept of freedom
The sky's were silent that day...but my heart....it was screaming..and still is
We are America...We are a people who live in freedom...
Our fathers, our mothers, our sons and our daughters have given their lives for a simple thought

and THEY were real...I would pay attention

I want to remember that thought..

The sky's were silent

But my heart was screaming

And I will NEVER be the same

I won't just remember a thought...but many

Self-evident, created equal, endowed by their Creator, unalienable Rights,
life, pursuit of happiness, liberty or death, don't tread on me, WE shall overcome, spacious skies, united.

I will look back...I will remember...Silence will not happen again if I can help it

It's our turn to pass it down...

So they who are to come ...they....will...remember!